To be completely honest, after a post like my last one, nothing I have to say about my life seems important even to me. When there is such a need in this world and so many hurting to find love; I am more than blessed beyond my wildest dreams.
"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."
Life does not and will not ever get "easy" for anyone. It is a continual battle where the only true offensive is to open your heart and love. It is so easy to forget on a daily basis the immensity of this world and those that inhabit it. Nobody's life is less interesting, less complex, less worth living or loving than your own. Like so many others, I too am guilty of complacency and forgetting the true meaning of love and sacrifice. Sure, the little things in life matter but there are too many hopeless and lost souls to limit ourselves to living day by day avoiding doing anything big. What Jamie and others have done with TWLOHA is awe inspiring to say the very least. They have taken the small kindness they showed Renee and ignited the hearts and minds of thousands. This movement of love has the ability to bring life and hope to so many. My request to you? No matter your circumstances in life, please take the time to listen to others. Share your pain, your bliss, your gains and your losses. Share sincerity and love in your daily life and I promise you, hope will follow.
Top 5 Songs You Should Listen To...this week at least
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
TWLOHA
Please Read. Love. Help. Hope. Pray.
Thank you,
JS
www.twloha.com
TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS by Jamie Tworkowski
Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."
I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.
Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.
She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.
The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.
She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.
I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.
Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.
She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.
On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.
Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.
After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.
She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.
As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.
We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.
We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.
I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.
Thank you,
JS
www.twloha.com
TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS by Jamie Tworkowski
Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."
I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.
Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.
She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.
The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.
She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.
I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.
Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.
She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.
On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.
Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.
After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.
She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.
As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.
We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.
We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.
I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Anything You Say Now
You know what would be incredible? If I was given the opportunity to sit down and talk with every person that's shaped my life that's no longer in it for whatever reason. Ex-girlfriends, ex-friends, ex-family, ex-lady friends, ex-teammates, ex-rivals or ex-lovers. One of my single greatest joys in life is talking to people and discovering him or her on a level not afforded the casual passerby. The first three questions I'd ask?
1.) Why?
2.) Where? (did you go, have you been, are you going)
3.) What? (do we do)
********************************************************************************
But besides all that, I'm expecting a visit from Michael tonight down in the QC. Hopefully The Noon is going to come with him as well. These gentlemen are easily two of my favorite people currently in my life. And despite the high chances of failure, I really want to do my best to keep them in some part of my life. We're planning on going to Pat's hockey game down here. Speaking of which, Mr. McCullough is quite a stud himself and hopefully he knocks some fools around tonight.
And in closing? If anyone reads this that has any sort of conceptual art talent, please comment or let me know somehow. I have some projects that I need someone to undertake and I would most certainly pay for services rendered.
1.) Why?
2.) Where? (did you go, have you been, are you going)
3.) What? (do we do)
********************************************************************************
But besides all that, I'm expecting a visit from Michael tonight down in the QC. Hopefully The Noon is going to come with him as well. These gentlemen are easily two of my favorite people currently in my life. And despite the high chances of failure, I really want to do my best to keep them in some part of my life. We're planning on going to Pat's hockey game down here. Speaking of which, Mr. McCullough is quite a stud himself and hopefully he knocks some fools around tonight.
And in closing? If anyone reads this that has any sort of conceptual art talent, please comment or let me know somehow. I have some projects that I need someone to undertake and I would most certainly pay for services rendered.
Monday, August 27, 2007
You Are My Moon
Steven Richard Tschiggfrie = my
If you've heard about it already or see this blog in time...look to the sky around 5:37 AM CST on Tuesday morning. God knows that's early but I might just get up early for work.
If you've heard about it already or see this blog in time...look to the sky around 5:37 AM CST on Tuesday morning. God knows that's early but I might just get up early for work.
I'm So Lost...IN LOST ISLAND!!! ARGH!!!
I'm having so much fun!!!
Look at me going zoom zoom on the Kiwi Koaster!!!
But seriously, Lost Island in Waterloo is a pretty alright water park. Perfect distance and size for a day trip with the family, a loved one, or a group of friends. I went with my family on Sunday. Now I just have to find someone who loves me or hell, even some friends.
I definitely did too much of this however.
And now I look something like this.
I thought I could rely on my Asiatic genes to prevent sun burn like they always have in the past. But it's a wonder what a couple of years sitting in an office during the summer can do for your skin's tolerance level.
Well, between Sunday's water park adventure and Saturday's wedding antics; I had a splendid weekend. One more next weekend and then wedding season for the year sadly comes to an end. Luckily, next weekend is LABOR DAY!!! And ironically enough, to celebrate, I don't have to work Monday. So that means long weekend boys and girls. It's probably going to entail Friday night in the QC, Saturday for Nate and Jackie's wedding in Dubuque and then Sunday night back in the QC rocking hard until the early morning hours of our recognized day of labor.
Well, thus ends my weekend update. Enjoy.
If I Didn't Love You So Much...
My brother with his 4th grade class at Immanuel Mission School. Located right around....here
Get it?
The point is, I'm incredibly proud of my brother and the direction he's chosen to take his life. We've been through a lot of crap together and to see him standing with these beautiful children that look to him each day to further their education and make them more valuable as individuals; I'm filled with joy and admiration. The sacrifice and love that he, his beautiful wife Sarah and their incredible daughter Eden are displaying are encouraging and inspiring to say the least. I love you Solomon.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Whoopsies...
Well, that was quick...
A personal belief I hold is that no matter the length, frequency or relative importance, every encounter with another person in this life has an impact on you and your character. Time acts as an exponential factor in determining what sort of influence he or she might have as perceived by you but the influence occurs regardless.
My life is no different. I recently became very close to someone I've distantly known for almost a year and a half. Up until almost 2 months ago, we spoke infrequently and saw each other even less. But as life is so fond of doing, our lives randomly chose to intersect and intertwine for a period of time. How did it happen? Like I said, life has a way of taking a whole bunch of little actions, reactions, coincidences and twists of fate to turn dozens of little ingredients into a masterpiece of a meal.
I digress.
This person absolutely took me by storm. There really is no other way to put it. I was at a pivotal split in the road of my life and I was flabbergasted to find someone so amazing standing at the Y intersection, like me, contemplating which way to go. I surely didn't expect this and while part of me cursed the timing of it all, I still embraced the beauty in the unknown.
Well, after all is said and done, we chose separate paths down that road.
To you:
I want only the best for you. As previously mentioned, my only regret would be if I were to exit this situation having learned nothing. I am sorry for not foreseeing the ending of this but who would I be to judge without precedent? To be completely frank, your actions in dealing with me did not make much sense. Logic seemed to play no part in your thinking and while I cannot fault you for your personal choices, I am saddened by it and wish there would've been something I could've done to truly discover you.
You told me of past suffering at the hands of others and at the time, I felt compassion and wanted to share with you my love and happiness. But just as I personally hold myself accountable for learning from the past, you are no different. If you do not grow, you will fail and not receive one ounce of sympathy from me.
Finally, you reminded me of the many dangers inherent to trust. This is one area where I knowingly reject my philosophy of learning from the past. Therefore I desire no sympathy from you or anyone else. But without trust, there cannot be love and without love, there cannot be life. As for me, my life is my love and I do not plan to stop sharing that with others.
Thank you.
A personal belief I hold is that no matter the length, frequency or relative importance, every encounter with another person in this life has an impact on you and your character. Time acts as an exponential factor in determining what sort of influence he or she might have as perceived by you but the influence occurs regardless.
My life is no different. I recently became very close to someone I've distantly known for almost a year and a half. Up until almost 2 months ago, we spoke infrequently and saw each other even less. But as life is so fond of doing, our lives randomly chose to intersect and intertwine for a period of time. How did it happen? Like I said, life has a way of taking a whole bunch of little actions, reactions, coincidences and twists of fate to turn dozens of little ingredients into a masterpiece of a meal.
I digress.
This person absolutely took me by storm. There really is no other way to put it. I was at a pivotal split in the road of my life and I was flabbergasted to find someone so amazing standing at the Y intersection, like me, contemplating which way to go. I surely didn't expect this and while part of me cursed the timing of it all, I still embraced the beauty in the unknown.
Well, after all is said and done, we chose separate paths down that road.
To you:
I want only the best for you. As previously mentioned, my only regret would be if I were to exit this situation having learned nothing. I am sorry for not foreseeing the ending of this but who would I be to judge without precedent? To be completely frank, your actions in dealing with me did not make much sense. Logic seemed to play no part in your thinking and while I cannot fault you for your personal choices, I am saddened by it and wish there would've been something I could've done to truly discover you.
You told me of past suffering at the hands of others and at the time, I felt compassion and wanted to share with you my love and happiness. But just as I personally hold myself accountable for learning from the past, you are no different. If you do not grow, you will fail and not receive one ounce of sympathy from me.
Finally, you reminded me of the many dangers inherent to trust. This is one area where I knowingly reject my philosophy of learning from the past. Therefore I desire no sympathy from you or anyone else. But without trust, there cannot be love and without love, there cannot be life. As for me, my life is my love and I do not plan to stop sharing that with others.
Thank you.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
A.), B.), 3.)
Shadowrun is absolutely phenomenal? Yes
For the first time in a long time, I'm physically itching to leave work to go home and play a video game.
Bad sign? Yep...but seriously, who cares??? It's so much fun.
On the off chance that someone reads this that plays SR, GT = CPHxMorpheus
Now, onto more important matters. Gripes.
I have one major one right now. Myspace bitching.
Quit it. That's all I have to say.
For the first time in a long time, I'm physically itching to leave work to go home and play a video game.
Bad sign? Yep...but seriously, who cares??? It's so much fun.
On the off chance that someone reads this that plays SR, GT = CPHxMorpheus
Now, onto more important matters. Gripes.
I have one major one right now. Myspace bitching.
Quit it. That's all I have to say.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
We'll Find Our Reasons
Quick highlights of my weekend?
-Meeting some of the rapest dudes at both Halo and life. Some new, some old, some in between but all cool.
-Seeing one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, Shelton Lee. Having Jihad (Shelton) hooking me up huge with two VIP passes at MLG Chicago. Yeah, access to anything in the venue including the Pro Player's Lounge. Free Red Bull? CHECK. Plus its a wonder how many cans of Red Bull can fit in a full size Swiss Gear book bag.
-Donging in 4's
-Being sold on a 360 and Shadowrun by Jihad, Puckett, Nistic and all other sorts of studs.
-Chipotle and Portillo's? Fine dining.
-Scary Kids Scaring Kids? Super good. One positive thing about shows these days being full of sceney-boppers? Being able to have my way in the crowd. 200+ kids? Maybe two were my size or bigger than me.
-Finding peace through closure.
-Sitting back and appreciating God's love. It blows any love of mine out of the water.
-Getting almost 11 hours of sleep Sunday into Monday. So what if I had to call in sick to work get it?
-Loving life through the joy, the sorrow and the change. More specifically? The change we see in others but more importantly, the change we see in ourselves.
-Meeting some of the rapest dudes at both Halo and life. Some new, some old, some in between but all cool.
-Seeing one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, Shelton Lee. Having Jihad (Shelton) hooking me up huge with two VIP passes at MLG Chicago. Yeah, access to anything in the venue including the Pro Player's Lounge. Free Red Bull? CHECK. Plus its a wonder how many cans of Red Bull can fit in a full size Swiss Gear book bag.
-Donging in 4's
-Being sold on a 360 and Shadowrun by Jihad, Puckett, Nistic and all other sorts of studs.
-Chipotle and Portillo's? Fine dining.
-Scary Kids Scaring Kids? Super good. One positive thing about shows these days being full of sceney-boppers? Being able to have my way in the crowd. 200+ kids? Maybe two were my size or bigger than me.
-Finding peace through closure.
-Sitting back and appreciating God's love. It blows any love of mine out of the water.
-Getting almost 11 hours of sleep Sunday into Monday. So what if I had to call in sick to work get it?
-Loving life through the joy, the sorrow and the change. More specifically? The change we see in others but more importantly, the change we see in ourselves.
"It's Not That Complicated"
Speak your mind and say how you feel
Respond to me and I will respond to you
Emotions are confusing enough as they are
There’s no need to make things worse
Do your best, I’ll do mine and the rest will follow
Or stop trying, close yourself off and I’ll cut you out
Your life, your choice, my hope
Respond to me and I will respond to you
Emotions are confusing enough as they are
There’s no need to make things worse
Do your best, I’ll do mine and the rest will follow
Or stop trying, close yourself off and I’ll cut you out
Your life, your choice, my hope
Friday, August 17, 2007
Midwest Mayhem!
MLG Chicago anyone?
Yep, I'm heading to St. Charles for the Chicago stop on MLG's 4th season circuit. Only location I've ever gone to and I've been to every one of them. First year I won't be playing in the tourney but I am A. O. K. with that.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...good times. All H1 and partying tonight and possibly tomorrow night too. I'm considering either coming home to the QC to go out to the bars tomorrow night or maybe going to a Paper Mache/Tim Hanton show in downtown Chicago. Any of my three choices will be fun so I have no qualms about the quality of this weekend.
Yogi's already checked into the two room suite I have reserved. When I get there around 7:30 tonight, he's making sure there's some hot LAAAAAN and some cold beers waiting for me.
Every day, life just keeps getting better and better. Seriously, this is ridiculous.
Should hopefully post a blog or two while I'm in Chicago if I get a free minute and there's wireless. Until then, I love you.
Yep, I'm heading to St. Charles for the Chicago stop on MLG's 4th season circuit. Only location I've ever gone to and I've been to every one of them. First year I won't be playing in the tourney but I am A. O. K. with that.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...good times. All H1 and partying tonight and possibly tomorrow night too. I'm considering either coming home to the QC to go out to the bars tomorrow night or maybe going to a Paper Mache/Tim Hanton show in downtown Chicago. Any of my three choices will be fun so I have no qualms about the quality of this weekend.
Yogi's already checked into the two room suite I have reserved. When I get there around 7:30 tonight, he's making sure there's some hot LAAAAAN and some cold beers waiting for me.
Every day, life just keeps getting better and better. Seriously, this is ridiculous.
Should hopefully post a blog or two while I'm in Chicago if I get a free minute and there's wireless. Until then, I love you.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Flattery Blows My Mind
"You'll talk to anyone. But I love that about you, because it's something I envy...because when you talk, people listen."
-sw-
Thank you so much...
-sw-
Thank you so much...
"Always"
Remember the way my hand felt on your skin?
Your entire body tingling at the very thought of pressing against mine?
As I slowly worked my way down, under the covers
Your breathing would quicken and grow heavy until……gasp
I pulled pleasure after pleasure out of you
Each murmur and whispered word bringing both of us closer
In your climax, I found satisfaction
-js-
Your entire body tingling at the very thought of pressing against mine?
As I slowly worked my way down, under the covers
Your breathing would quicken and grow heavy until……gasp
I pulled pleasure after pleasure out of you
Each murmur and whispered word bringing both of us closer
In your climax, I found satisfaction
-js-
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
"Don't End World!!!"
God’s love soaks through the heavens and into our souls
What beauty is this that shines upon us?
Lighting not only our hearts and minds but our very lives
My breath stops short when I see the cloud parts
And your magnificence echoes through every nerve in my body
From tears to bliss…after the rain comes joy
And after realization comes peace
I beg you to share in this with me
-js-
What beauty is this that shines upon us?
Lighting not only our hearts and minds but our very lives
My breath stops short when I see the cloud parts
And your magnificence echoes through every nerve in my body
From tears to bliss…after the rain comes joy
And after realization comes peace
I beg you to share in this with me
-js-
For Real...
I've watched so many movies in the last week.
Art School Confidential
Bloody Reunion
Perfume
Night Watch
The Host
Hot Fuzz
Disturbia
3 episodes of Rescue Me Season 4
A couple of nights have been lonely double features
Geez...
Never underestimate the importance of roommates in a new city.
And never forget the value of a beautiful girl.
Art School Confidential
Bloody Reunion
Perfume
Night Watch
The Host
Hot Fuzz
Disturbia
3 episodes of Rescue Me Season 4
A couple of nights have been lonely double features
Geez...
Never underestimate the importance of roommates in a new city.
And never forget the value of a beautiful girl.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Lyke Really?
So I just read a blog on MySpace about what a certain girl wants in a guy and for a relationship. It made me think twice. If I were to make a similar list, what would be on it?
(in no particular order)
1.) Be OPEN AND HONEST. Tell me how you feel. Tell me what's on your mind. Tell me what you do or don't want to do. Especially at an earlier stage of "seeing" each other, before you're actually dating. That's the most crucial time for forwardness.
2.) When it comes to calling/texting/e-mailing/communicating; be mindful of schedules and who has time to call when. Don't expect to be called all the time.
3.) Be social. Know how to talk and interact with others whether it be my friends or even complete strangers to both of us.
4.) Its nice to be reminded that you care about me. Don't hesitate to tell me if that's how you feel and I'll do the same. It feels good to love and be loved. I like to feel good.
5.) Let me be chivalrous. I won't always pay for everything. I'm completely okay with eventually settling into a pattern of going 50/50. But for now? Feel honored, not patronized.
6.) Overdoing PDA is dumb sure but I'd like to think you're still my girlfriend in public and not just a friend that also happens to be a girl.
7.) In regards to number 6; I have no problem with saving intimacy for the bedroom but just make sure it doesn't get lost there too.
8.) I want you to be a little jealous. I am your boyfriend after all. Would you like to share me with other girls? A well balanced amount of jealousy indicates your desire to keep me as a monogamous partner. If anything, apathy from you is going to push me towards someone else, not your jealousy.
9.) Be down for whatever and have some sense of creativity and spontaneity. Its raining? Its night time? No one else is around? We're running naked in the rain. And no, that's not a requirement but the mindset behind it is.
10.) Don't be lazy. Seriously, I'm responsible and work hard. At this point in my life? I expect something similar from you.
11.) Above all else, do your very best to see me for the person I am and demand I see you for who you are. No lies, no bullshit, no egos. We are only who we are.
Plenty more I'm sure but that list is a start.
(in no particular order)
1.) Be OPEN AND HONEST. Tell me how you feel. Tell me what's on your mind. Tell me what you do or don't want to do. Especially at an earlier stage of "seeing" each other, before you're actually dating. That's the most crucial time for forwardness.
2.) When it comes to calling/texting/e-mailing/communicating; be mindful of schedules and who has time to call when. Don't expect to be called all the time.
3.) Be social. Know how to talk and interact with others whether it be my friends or even complete strangers to both of us.
4.) Its nice to be reminded that you care about me. Don't hesitate to tell me if that's how you feel and I'll do the same. It feels good to love and be loved. I like to feel good.
5.) Let me be chivalrous. I won't always pay for everything. I'm completely okay with eventually settling into a pattern of going 50/50. But for now? Feel honored, not patronized.
6.) Overdoing PDA is dumb sure but I'd like to think you're still my girlfriend in public and not just a friend that also happens to be a girl.
7.) In regards to number 6; I have no problem with saving intimacy for the bedroom but just make sure it doesn't get lost there too.
8.) I want you to be a little jealous. I am your boyfriend after all. Would you like to share me with other girls? A well balanced amount of jealousy indicates your desire to keep me as a monogamous partner. If anything, apathy from you is going to push me towards someone else, not your jealousy.
9.) Be down for whatever and have some sense of creativity and spontaneity. Its raining? Its night time? No one else is around? We're running naked in the rain. And no, that's not a requirement but the mindset behind it is.
10.) Don't be lazy. Seriously, I'm responsible and work hard. At this point in my life? I expect something similar from you.
11.) Above all else, do your very best to see me for the person I am and demand I see you for who you are. No lies, no bullshit, no egos. We are only who we are.
Plenty more I'm sure but that list is a start.
Friday, August 10, 2007
I Push, You Push
HEY! HEY!
So hi. How are my one to two readers doing? I hope well. I feel like talking to someone. I don't know why and it's certainly bad timing on my part as I'm at work and generally say about 5 to 25 words a day at work depending on the type of day. As I'm sure any of you reading this know, socially speaking, I generally say at least 25 words to everyone else's 5. Do I talk too much? I personally don't think so. I just generally have a fair amount of material to cover when I speak and to me, the true test of whether or not someone talks too much is if others begin to feel annoyed or awkward after a certain point. From the feedback I've received both directly and indirectly, I'm fairly confident people hardly find me annoying. But then again, who knows?
So I just got out of a two hour long meeting with two women from Learning Points. Since I haven't had anyone directly brief me really on any details concerning the meeting or the parties involved, I can only make assumptions but I'm pretty certain that LP is some form of data assessment and consulting firm that works with school districts to create and implement models for growth and improvement. Lisa and Corrine were both very nice and hopefully along with my fellow DCSD staff members Bob and Tom (haha, wow, i just realized that), didn't notice the heat and the lack of any need for me to speak, making me sluggish and sleepy. I certainly don't need any more issues with that at this new job. So I think this meeting is the real reason I'm feeling so expressive and talkative right now. I had to sit there and listen to 4 educational professionals talk to each other about issues that I maybe only half understand while I can only sit and listen because it really wasn't a setting that I could ask questions. This build-up of repressed words, expression and inquisition has now created a psychological imbalance that is demanding attention. Wow, this seems almost like some sort of revelation for me. Circumstances out of my control dictate even more circumstances that are both in and out of my control. Interesting to think about.
So hi. How are my one to two readers doing? I hope well. I feel like talking to someone. I don't know why and it's certainly bad timing on my part as I'm at work and generally say about 5 to 25 words a day at work depending on the type of day. As I'm sure any of you reading this know, socially speaking, I generally say at least 25 words to everyone else's 5. Do I talk too much? I personally don't think so. I just generally have a fair amount of material to cover when I speak and to me, the true test of whether or not someone talks too much is if others begin to feel annoyed or awkward after a certain point. From the feedback I've received both directly and indirectly, I'm fairly confident people hardly find me annoying. But then again, who knows?
So I just got out of a two hour long meeting with two women from Learning Points. Since I haven't had anyone directly brief me really on any details concerning the meeting or the parties involved, I can only make assumptions but I'm pretty certain that LP is some form of data assessment and consulting firm that works with school districts to create and implement models for growth and improvement. Lisa and Corrine were both very nice and hopefully along with my fellow DCSD staff members Bob and Tom (haha, wow, i just realized that), didn't notice the heat and the lack of any need for me to speak, making me sluggish and sleepy. I certainly don't need any more issues with that at this new job. So I think this meeting is the real reason I'm feeling so expressive and talkative right now. I had to sit there and listen to 4 educational professionals talk to each other about issues that I maybe only half understand while I can only sit and listen because it really wasn't a setting that I could ask questions. This build-up of repressed words, expression and inquisition has now created a psychological imbalance that is demanding attention. Wow, this seems almost like some sort of revelation for me. Circumstances out of my control dictate even more circumstances that are both in and out of my control. Interesting to think about.
Hated It
Well look what time it is? Movie review time boys and girls. I'll eventually make a running list of movie ratings as a sidebar or something but for the time, I thought I'd throw together a few thoughts for some of the movies I've watched recently. Nothing as long as my Hard Candy review, don't worry.
Art School Confidential - 3.75 out of 5 - See If You're Feeling Squirrely
*An indie crimeDramedy with solid acting and an awesome performance by John Malkovich
*Interesting and semi-predictable twist ending. What made it good though for me was the predictability of it. The characters were developed in such a way that you could see what was going to happen based on the characters' personalities and how they unfolded.
*Hilarious artist "stereotypes" with a few nice nude shots but unfortunately, you see a full monty donger before you see any womanly vistas.
Bloody Reunion - 4 out of 5 - Must Be In A Certain Mood to Watch But If You Are, DO IT
*Ridiculous horror/revenge/suspense Asian movie. The first time for a Korean flick for me.
*Very strong plot line and a top notch ending that I did not see coming at all. Definitely one of those, "okay, the movie's over, now what the hell just happened" endings. Really good.
*Suffered somewhat from typically awkward Asian acting but still managed pretty good character development.
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer - 4.75 out of 5 - WATCH IT!!!
*Quite possibly one of the most unique and original story lines I've ever seen
*Follows the heavily but well narrated story of Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, a young Frenchman that is born with the most acute sense of smell ever known to man.
*Incredible performances by Dustin Hoffman and Alan Rickman with Ben Whishaw, a relative newcomer to me, doing an all around good job as the lead character.
*Stunning camera work with unbelievably vivid audio and visual. In my opinion, to help offset the inability of the viewer to experience in Jean-Baptiste's incredible olfactory sense.
*Quite the jaw dropping ending as well that topped off an already top notch film experience.
Night Watch - 3.5 out of 5 - Watch It So You're Ready for the Next Two in the Trilogy
*First movie in a Russian Horror/Fantasy/Action trilogy
*Really good story and background but it suffered from some sketchy foreign film techniques and from what I understand, a very vague and inaccurate translation of the original novel.
*Some very cool action scenes but also some scenes that really just didn't make sense.
*Shows a lot of potential and promise for the hopefully American made sequels, Day Watch and Dusk Watch.
Art School Confidential - 3.75 out of 5 - See If You're Feeling Squirrely
*An indie crimeDramedy with solid acting and an awesome performance by John Malkovich
*Interesting and semi-predictable twist ending. What made it good though for me was the predictability of it. The characters were developed in such a way that you could see what was going to happen based on the characters' personalities and how they unfolded.
*Hilarious artist "stereotypes" with a few nice nude shots but unfortunately, you see a full monty donger before you see any womanly vistas.
Bloody Reunion - 4 out of 5 - Must Be In A Certain Mood to Watch But If You Are, DO IT
*Ridiculous horror/revenge/suspense Asian movie. The first time for a Korean flick for me.
*Very strong plot line and a top notch ending that I did not see coming at all. Definitely one of those, "okay, the movie's over, now what the hell just happened" endings. Really good.
*Suffered somewhat from typically awkward Asian acting but still managed pretty good character development.
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer - 4.75 out of 5 - WATCH IT!!!
*Quite possibly one of the most unique and original story lines I've ever seen
*Follows the heavily but well narrated story of Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, a young Frenchman that is born with the most acute sense of smell ever known to man.
*Incredible performances by Dustin Hoffman and Alan Rickman with Ben Whishaw, a relative newcomer to me, doing an all around good job as the lead character.
*Stunning camera work with unbelievably vivid audio and visual. In my opinion, to help offset the inability of the viewer to experience in Jean-Baptiste's incredible olfactory sense.
*Quite the jaw dropping ending as well that topped off an already top notch film experience.
Night Watch - 3.5 out of 5 - Watch It So You're Ready for the Next Two in the Trilogy
*First movie in a Russian Horror/Fantasy/Action trilogy
*Really good story and background but it suffered from some sketchy foreign film techniques and from what I understand, a very vague and inaccurate translation of the original novel.
*Some very cool action scenes but also some scenes that really just didn't make sense.
*Shows a lot of potential and promise for the hopefully American made sequels, Day Watch and Dusk Watch.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
All You've Ever Wanted
A reality like this is so unstable
You can gasp and grasp like a drowning man does to a savior’s hand
But despite your best efforts, you won’t find firm ground
Why?
Why does it have to be this way?
We go back and forth…each just silently begging for the other to call
Neither one wanting to be the first to give in
These facades that we do our best to perpetuate
They are nothing but a mockery of the love we once held true
Forget the past and fuck the future…we’re living in the present
-js-
You can gasp and grasp like a drowning man does to a savior’s hand
But despite your best efforts, you won’t find firm ground
Why?
Why does it have to be this way?
We go back and forth…each just silently begging for the other to call
Neither one wanting to be the first to give in
These facades that we do our best to perpetuate
They are nothing but a mockery of the love we once held true
Forget the past and fuck the future…we’re living in the present
-js-
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Yes Please!!!
How's this for the best Rescue Me promotional shot ever?
Finished season 3 with Steve-o last night and OMGzzzz!!! We can't wait to start the first episodes of season 4 tonight. Unlike some of our grocery shopping, I think we're both on the same page with this one.
Finished season 3 with Steve-o last night and OMGzzzz!!! We can't wait to start the first episodes of season 4 tonight. Unlike some of our grocery shopping, I think we're both on the same page with this one.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Silvis Water = Poo?
You guessed it. The topic of my Monday morning thoughts? The tap water at my condo in Silvis tastes like poo. And that really sucks. It's not like I didn't expect it. But honestly? Coming from Dubuque with it's international award winning (control+F "Dubuque") tap water? It's hard leaving the top. Just like how I had a dream last night in which I went over to the house of some new H1 "pro" to LAN and I think it was Harris that came out and gave me some excuse why I couldn't LAN with them but really it was just cause they thought I was bad. Yeah, talk about some f'd up dreams. That's what you get from sleeping on HARD floors Friday and Saturday night and then coming home and sleeping on your amazing plush bed. That and the fact I woke up EXACTLY 10 seconds before my first alarm went off. Straight from dream to consciousness to despair. And now I'm back in captivity for another 7 hours and 12 minutes.
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
I had an absolutely amazing weekend with wonderfully amazing people. In addition to that, I'm positively trembling in anticipation for this Wednesday night. I will entertain a very special guest in the QC and I couldn't be happier.
Speaking of being happy. Last night when I got home to the condo, I looked in the fridge and came to the stunning realization that I had mistakenly thought I had eaten the last of my Mongolian Grill leftovers Friday for lunch. Oh no, I had over a half full take out container of the wonderful blend of spicy noodles, beef, pork, shrimp, chicken, sausage, crab meat and tofu. Yep, I have quite the balanced diet. So I ate a portion of that for breakfast and think I'll have the rest tonight for a light early dinner.
In regards to tonight, like usual, I have my to do/errands to run list for tonight after work.
1.) Stop at Blockbuster, return two movies and pick up the 4th and final disc of Rescue Me: Season 3.
Update: So like an idiot, as I was writing this, I decided to look for an interesting article about Rescue Me to link into this post. Yep, well, I sort of half noticed that any recent article about Rescue Me just gave off the "CHOCK FULL OF SPOILER" vibe but of course, I glance at one and I swear to God, I can read INSANELY fast when I'm trying to stop myself from doing so.
*SPOILER ALERT*
Long story short, Johnny dies. GAH!!!
You know? I still really can't tell if I hate knowing things that will happen or not. Because even if I know something will happen, it's still the show's responsibility to launch this "surprise" out of nowhere and slap me in the face when I'm least expecting. So just like you KNOW that the killer is going to jump out of somewhere, at SOME point, some time VERY soon; you still jump when he does. All the while, feeling like a jack ass. But see, I'm guessing Johnny dies in the finale but since I didn't read ANY details other than he dies, I won't know about any supplementary plot set up or the such so in all reality, this death can happen anytime in the next 2 or 3 episodes I have left. I'm still mad at myself for reading so fast but the awesomeness of Rescue Me still has a chance to save itself, Johnny's climatic end and my hopes and dreams.
2.) Stop at my lovely new bank, Wells Fargo and proceed to cash my even lovelier Mother's check for her part of the cell phone bill this month.
3.) It should be getting close to 4:35 or 4:40 by now and I'll be getting that "i'm slightly concerned but nah, I should be just fine" feeling in my gut in regards to getting to the post office on time.So I'll cruise up through the lovely city of Silvis and head to the post office that I really hope I can find with the help of Google Maps. Once there, I'll probably talk to some pleasant faced 42 year old baseball mom and PTA member that mans the front desk as a volunteer for a few hours a week. She'll then point me in the right direction where I'll stroll most likely no more than 15 feet to a much more official looking desk/counter where a uniformed older man will eye me suspiciously as I tell him my story of moving down here from Dubuque, not having a mail box set up at the newly built condominium, needing to pick up mine and my roommate's mail and so on and so forth. He'll then probably tell me that Mike needs to pick his own mail up personally. I'll put up a little fight in the hopes he'll cave in. I'll win and get the mail or more than likely, I'll give up after a 6 second struggle and just mutter under my breath that Mike can pick up his own damn mail. In terms of good news however, since we did get our mailbox in over the weekend, I should either have my two new movies from B-Buster Online in the box today or tomorrow or there's the small chance that they're at the post office when I pick my mail up. Okay, so I just checked their estimated arrival times? Sounds like today in our mailbox at the earliest. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer and Bloody Reunion. The latter of these two, I had reservations about but decided to go with against my better judgement due to a really catchy front cover and an equally interesting back cover description...which I can't seem to find the exact one I read anywhere on the internet on short notice. You'll just have to take my word for it. Plus, any movie put out by a studio with the words "Asian" and "Extreme" in it's name is fine by me.
4.) Get back home and make a bit of din din (probably those aforementioned leftovers). Assuming then that Steve got off work at 5 or so like he was hoping to on his FIRST DAY OF FURNITURE SALES!!!!!, we'll probably sup together and watch Rescue Me or maybe an episode of Band of Brothers if I'm unsuccesful in my Quest #01.
So as you can see, I have an INCREDIBLY eventful Monday ahead of me but I'm just thinking it's just one more day that's in the way of Wednesday...
So with that, I bid you adieu for now.
Good morning lovely.
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
I had an absolutely amazing weekend with wonderfully amazing people. In addition to that, I'm positively trembling in anticipation for this Wednesday night. I will entertain a very special guest in the QC and I couldn't be happier.
Speaking of being happy. Last night when I got home to the condo, I looked in the fridge and came to the stunning realization that I had mistakenly thought I had eaten the last of my Mongolian Grill leftovers Friday for lunch. Oh no, I had over a half full take out container of the wonderful blend of spicy noodles, beef, pork, shrimp, chicken, sausage, crab meat and tofu. Yep, I have quite the balanced diet. So I ate a portion of that for breakfast and think I'll have the rest tonight for a light early dinner.
In regards to tonight, like usual, I have my to do/errands to run list for tonight after work.
1.) Stop at Blockbuster, return two movies and pick up the 4th and final disc of Rescue Me: Season 3.
Update: So like an idiot, as I was writing this, I decided to look for an interesting article about Rescue Me to link into this post. Yep, well, I sort of half noticed that any recent article about Rescue Me just gave off the "CHOCK FULL OF SPOILER" vibe but of course, I glance at one and I swear to God, I can read INSANELY fast when I'm trying to stop myself from doing so.
*SPOILER ALERT*
Long story short, Johnny dies. GAH!!!
You know? I still really can't tell if I hate knowing things that will happen or not. Because even if I know something will happen, it's still the show's responsibility to launch this "surprise" out of nowhere and slap me in the face when I'm least expecting. So just like you KNOW that the killer is going to jump out of somewhere, at SOME point, some time VERY soon; you still jump when he does. All the while, feeling like a jack ass. But see, I'm guessing Johnny dies in the finale but since I didn't read ANY details other than he dies, I won't know about any supplementary plot set up or the such so in all reality, this death can happen anytime in the next 2 or 3 episodes I have left. I'm still mad at myself for reading so fast but the awesomeness of Rescue Me still has a chance to save itself, Johnny's climatic end and my hopes and dreams.
2.) Stop at my lovely new bank, Wells Fargo and proceed to cash my even lovelier Mother's check for her part of the cell phone bill this month.
3.) It should be getting close to 4:35 or 4:40 by now and I'll be getting that "i'm slightly concerned but nah, I should be just fine" feeling in my gut in regards to getting to the post office on time.So I'll cruise up through the lovely city of Silvis and head to the post office that I really hope I can find with the help of Google Maps. Once there, I'll probably talk to some pleasant faced 42 year old baseball mom and PTA member that mans the front desk as a volunteer for a few hours a week. She'll then point me in the right direction where I'll stroll most likely no more than 15 feet to a much more official looking desk/counter where a uniformed older man will eye me suspiciously as I tell him my story of moving down here from Dubuque, not having a mail box set up at the newly built condominium, needing to pick up mine and my roommate's mail and so on and so forth. He'll then probably tell me that Mike needs to pick his own mail up personally. I'll put up a little fight in the hopes he'll cave in. I'll win and get the mail or more than likely, I'll give up after a 6 second struggle and just mutter under my breath that Mike can pick up his own damn mail. In terms of good news however, since we did get our mailbox in over the weekend, I should either have my two new movies from B-Buster Online in the box today or tomorrow or there's the small chance that they're at the post office when I pick my mail up. Okay, so I just checked their estimated arrival times? Sounds like today in our mailbox at the earliest. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer and Bloody Reunion. The latter of these two, I had reservations about but decided to go with against my better judgement due to a really catchy front cover and an equally interesting back cover description...which I can't seem to find the exact one I read anywhere on the internet on short notice. You'll just have to take my word for it. Plus, any movie put out by a studio with the words "Asian" and "Extreme" in it's name is fine by me.
4.) Get back home and make a bit of din din (probably those aforementioned leftovers). Assuming then that Steve got off work at 5 or so like he was hoping to on his FIRST DAY OF FURNITURE SALES!!!!!, we'll probably sup together and watch Rescue Me or maybe an episode of Band of Brothers if I'm unsuccesful in my Quest #01.
So as you can see, I have an INCREDIBLY eventful Monday ahead of me but I'm just thinking it's just one more day that's in the way of Wednesday...
So with that, I bid you adieu for now.
Good morning lovely.
Friday, August 3, 2007
"If You Wanted to Know"
Pull yourself free from this
Without a doubt, you’ll understand
In time, all things will be made clear
And you’ll grasp why this had to be
Sacrificing wants for needs
Throwing comfort to the wind
Disregarding so much we held dear
Clarity will arrive unexpectedly and without announcement
This pain will all make sense one day
-js-
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They took it all back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dumb casino
They took it all back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dumb casino
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Really?
I set my things on my desk.
I press the power button on my computer tower.
I flip the overhead light switch on the lights over my desk.
I power on my two monitors. Right monitor first, left monitor second.
I log into Windows.
I open Outlook to look good.
I check my gmail because I want to.
I Ctrl+T a new tab for my Internet Banking.
I wonder why my balance is MUCH higher than it should be.
I see the Diamond Jo has apparently deposited a full paycheck.
I reflect on the fact that the DJC owes me no money whatsoever.
I realize there's been an accounting error.
I smile and hope for the best.
I press the power button on my computer tower.
I flip the overhead light switch on the lights over my desk.
I power on my two monitors. Right monitor first, left monitor second.
I log into Windows.
I open Outlook to look good.
I check my gmail because I want to.
I Ctrl+T a new tab for my Internet Banking.
I wonder why my balance is MUCH higher than it should be.
I see the Diamond Jo has apparently deposited a full paycheck.
I reflect on the fact that the DJC owes me no money whatsoever.
I realize there's been an accounting error.
I smile and hope for the best.
"Grab Max"
Here’s to the “we should do this more often”s,
The “why haven’t we thought of this before”s,
And the “this is so much fun”s
Here’s to all the moments spent…memories faded but bonds strengthened
Here’s to what we lose in the blink of an eye yet gain in a single beat of the heart
To the days we’ve spent planning, wishing and dreaming
And to the nights spent hoping tomorrow would last a lifetime
-js-
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Yeah, That's What I'd Do
So now that the introduction is out of the way, where to?
I watched the movie "Hard Candy" last night. For those of you that are unfamiliar with it, here's a quick spoiler-free summary of it. 14 year old girl named Hayley meets 32 year old man named Jeff IRL after chatting on the internet for a few weeks. Hayley goes back to Jeff's house with him. Hayley surprises Jeff and takes him captive in his own house. Hilarity does not ensue and needless to say, lives are changed. Was mine? Not exactly but I did really like the movie. For starters, it has a very original storyline that explores each of the character's psyche but made sure to never tell too much and overwhelm the viewer with contrived philosophical rhetoric.
Along with a really well worded script, the film's dialogue and sense of character development shone through. Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page both did an amazing job of portraying their characters to a very believable level. Grey's Anatomy's Sandra Oh also has a 3 minute appearance as Jeff's concerned neighbor Mrs. Tokuda. As events unfold and plot is revealed, both Jeff and Hayley's characters really begin to evolve as layer after layer is stripped and their true motives and self shines through. One thing that really stood out for me though in the film was the lighting and filming techniques. Now, don't mistake me for any sort of film critic because I can say with complete honesty that I have next to no clue about any sort of camera angles, lighting techniques, etc, etc. I just know what works for me and this film certainly did. The shifting of muted grey tones to bright hued whites really led me to feel that the director was trying to show the strong sense of conflict between right and wrong in this movie and how at least for me personally, the line was never very clear.
On a related note, Double Viking has an excellent Top (9) Unconventional Date Movies that includes Hard Candy. So not only can you enjoy this movie by yourself or with someone where no sexual interest exists at all; but DV promises "you'll be having fish tacos for dinner" if you watch this with a date. That is of course as long as you warn her about the first 15 minutes before little Hayley goes Donkey Kong on Jeff's ass. Apparently girls might get creeped out by the internet sexual predator bit. Whatever...
Rating? I'm going to go with a "Definitely Watch It" and compliment that with a 4.25 out of 5.
I watched the movie "Hard Candy" last night. For those of you that are unfamiliar with it, here's a quick spoiler-free summary of it. 14 year old girl named Hayley meets 32 year old man named Jeff IRL after chatting on the internet for a few weeks. Hayley goes back to Jeff's house with him. Hayley surprises Jeff and takes him captive in his own house. Hilarity does not ensue and needless to say, lives are changed. Was mine? Not exactly but I did really like the movie. For starters, it has a very original storyline that explores each of the character's psyche but made sure to never tell too much and overwhelm the viewer with contrived philosophical rhetoric.
Along with a really well worded script, the film's dialogue and sense of character development shone through. Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page both did an amazing job of portraying their characters to a very believable level. Grey's Anatomy's Sandra Oh also has a 3 minute appearance as Jeff's concerned neighbor Mrs. Tokuda. As events unfold and plot is revealed, both Jeff and Hayley's characters really begin to evolve as layer after layer is stripped and their true motives and self shines through. One thing that really stood out for me though in the film was the lighting and filming techniques. Now, don't mistake me for any sort of film critic because I can say with complete honesty that I have next to no clue about any sort of camera angles, lighting techniques, etc, etc. I just know what works for me and this film certainly did. The shifting of muted grey tones to bright hued whites really led me to feel that the director was trying to show the strong sense of conflict between right and wrong in this movie and how at least for me personally, the line was never very clear.
On a related note, Double Viking has an excellent Top (9) Unconventional Date Movies that includes Hard Candy. So not only can you enjoy this movie by yourself or with someone where no sexual interest exists at all; but DV promises "you'll be having fish tacos for dinner" if you watch this with a date. That is of course as long as you warn her about the first 15 minutes before little Hayley goes Donkey Kong on Jeff's ass. Apparently girls might get creeped out by the internet sexual predator bit. Whatever...
Rating? I'm going to go with a "Definitely Watch It" and compliment that with a 4.25 out of 5.
CHIODOS!!! SEPTEMBER 24TH!!! THE LOFT!!!
4th time making love to craig's face
2nd time doing so at the Loft
1st time I'll have craig's new gf with me...hopefully
"let me embrace you with this kiss"
2nd time doing so at the Loft
1st time I'll have craig's new gf with me...hopefully
"let me embrace you with this kiss"
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