H3 = pure rape
Got home with the game around 12:45AM Tuesday morning. Played until about 9:00AM that same morning. Rested and then continued to play from approximately 5:30PM to 1:00AM. Needless to say, I've put a few hours into it. It's nice cause I spent $0.00 the last two days, other than the sunk cost of the game which I'm not counting. I drove 0 miles and used 0 gallons of gasoline. And I thought of women for 0 minutes and 0 seconds. Basically, H3 has been therapeutic for me thus far. Just trying to pass time until the 12th.
GT = CPHxMorpheus
With that being said, kudos to the nerds out in Massachussatts. MC MIT FTW!!!
Top 5 Songs You Should Listen To...this week at least
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
PM5K
Anyone that can tell me what the title of this blog stands for wins $5. No joke.
So hi. It's Monday unfortunately and despite that small detail, life is great.
Had a pretty great weekend. Spent Friday night in Dubuque with Miller and plenty of other cohorts. Besides Miller, I also got a chance to see some short to long time absent from my life and it was nice. As is the case anytime Miller and I are together, some ridiculous-ness happened and we've got stories to tell for years to come. Back in the QC on Saturday and had a good time just relaxing and hanging out. Miller left Sunday and the large bulk of the day was spent just absolutely relaxing with Steve. Finished Rescue Me: Season 4 and despite a few weak episodes at the end of the season, the finale came clutch and made me remember why I love this show so damn much. Spent the next 3 hours just talking girls; past, present and future. That was unbelievably fun. The idea for "Day to Day Date Data" was conceived and I might be locked into a 98/2 deal with Steve on royalties. Compiled notes and told stories...lived, laughed and loved...relished, regretted and just plain yearned. It was a telling time for us.
Also had a realization that one of the best ways to relax, not get ahead of myself and to pass anticipatory time...is to play Halo 3. I'm hoping it's going to make the next 18 days just FLYYYYY BY.
Tonight, I'm thinking Prison Break at 7 followed by the premiere of Heroes at 8. Craig gets off at 9, we play H2 campaign to catch up on the story until 12 and then go to try buying H3. I want to just get to bed tonight without touching it but I KNOW I'll be up until at least 1:30 playing. Numbers and intuition. It's how I pass time at work.
Try it. Or read my blog.
So hi. It's Monday unfortunately and despite that small detail, life is great.
Had a pretty great weekend. Spent Friday night in Dubuque with Miller and plenty of other cohorts. Besides Miller, I also got a chance to see some short to long time absent from my life and it was nice. As is the case anytime Miller and I are together, some ridiculous-ness happened and we've got stories to tell for years to come. Back in the QC on Saturday and had a good time just relaxing and hanging out. Miller left Sunday and the large bulk of the day was spent just absolutely relaxing with Steve. Finished Rescue Me: Season 4 and despite a few weak episodes at the end of the season, the finale came clutch and made me remember why I love this show so damn much. Spent the next 3 hours just talking girls; past, present and future. That was unbelievably fun. The idea for "Day to Day Date Data" was conceived and I might be locked into a 98/2 deal with Steve on royalties. Compiled notes and told stories...lived, laughed and loved...relished, regretted and just plain yearned. It was a telling time for us.
Also had a realization that one of the best ways to relax, not get ahead of myself and to pass anticipatory time...is to play Halo 3. I'm hoping it's going to make the next 18 days just FLYYYYY BY.
Tonight, I'm thinking Prison Break at 7 followed by the premiere of Heroes at 8. Craig gets off at 9, we play H2 campaign to catch up on the story until 12 and then go to try buying H3. I want to just get to bed tonight without touching it but I KNOW I'll be up until at least 1:30 playing. Numbers and intuition. It's how I pass time at work.
Try it. Or read my blog.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Do We Create Our Own Destiny?
"Star crossed lovers
They say we're not meant to be
'Cause the stars in the sky, and the fashion that they are aligned.
I say if the futures been drawn out there's no point in living.
I wont give up my love so that fate can have its way.
If the stars say that you couldn’t love me,
Are you telling me that you would listen?
If the words make their way from your mouth,
Don’t ask my permission,
All is forgiven."
sKsK - Star Crossed
Besides my deep appreciation for this Scary Kids song, listening to it just a moment ago really "got me thinking". Just about destiny, fate, etc. Does it exist? Who creates it? I believe that God does have a plan for each of us but how flexible is that plan? Is there an A and B version of it? Maybe even a C? How predetermined are things? By living in the here and the now, does that automatically rule out X number of possible endings for my day, my month, my year or even my life? Does it really matter? Let's look at the two main schools of thought.
1.) Destiny exists and your life has already been played out in some supernatural podcast. If this is the case, don't worry about anything then. Life will unfold and all you need to do is concentrate on making others as well as yourself happy.
2.) Nothing is pre-planned and everything is a direct result or consequence if your actions in the present. A little closer to what I personally believe but still pretty far from my relatively moderate stance in this. In the same way as predetermination, your decisions are still dependent on the sure and utter fact that the future is unknown. So in that light, you are still able to maintain a certain level of blissful ignorance.
So both 1.) and 2.) rely on us being blind to potential and far reaching consequences. So in the same fashion, your choices still have a very real effect on others. Whether your life's course is predetermined or not, you're still the one making decisions and those decisions can either hurt or help. Day to day, am I helping or hurting? I think everyone's first response would be of course, helping. But how do I know? How much of other people's lives do you really get to see?
Can you really quantify your impact on another human being?
They say we're not meant to be
'Cause the stars in the sky, and the fashion that they are aligned.
I say if the futures been drawn out there's no point in living.
I wont give up my love so that fate can have its way.
If the stars say that you couldn’t love me,
Are you telling me that you would listen?
If the words make their way from your mouth,
Don’t ask my permission,
All is forgiven."
sKsK - Star Crossed
Besides my deep appreciation for this Scary Kids song, listening to it just a moment ago really "got me thinking". Just about destiny, fate, etc. Does it exist? Who creates it? I believe that God does have a plan for each of us but how flexible is that plan? Is there an A and B version of it? Maybe even a C? How predetermined are things? By living in the here and the now, does that automatically rule out X number of possible endings for my day, my month, my year or even my life? Does it really matter? Let's look at the two main schools of thought.
1.) Destiny exists and your life has already been played out in some supernatural podcast. If this is the case, don't worry about anything then. Life will unfold and all you need to do is concentrate on making others as well as yourself happy.
2.) Nothing is pre-planned and everything is a direct result or consequence if your actions in the present. A little closer to what I personally believe but still pretty far from my relatively moderate stance in this. In the same way as predetermination, your decisions are still dependent on the sure and utter fact that the future is unknown. So in that light, you are still able to maintain a certain level of blissful ignorance.
So both 1.) and 2.) rely on us being blind to potential and far reaching consequences. So in the same fashion, your choices still have a very real effect on others. Whether your life's course is predetermined or not, you're still the one making decisions and those decisions can either hurt or help. Day to day, am I helping or hurting? I think everyone's first response would be of course, helping. But how do I know? How much of other people's lives do you really get to see?
Can you really quantify your impact on another human being?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
RUI FTW?
The following are pieces of mine that are going to be read by a friend of mine at the Busted Lift's Reading Under the Influence next Tuesday night. Eh? At least I won't be there to catch the rotten tomato in the mouth if the elitist indie bastards at the Lift don't like them.
Stupid thrift store gestapo.
Pull yourself free from this
Without a doubt, you’ll understand
In time, all things will be made clear
And you’ll grasp why this had to be
Sacrificing wants for needs
Throwing comfort to the wind
Disregarding so much we held dear
Clarity will arrive unexpectedly and without announcement
This pain will all make sense one day
Stupid thrift store gestapo.
“Hit It Chewie”
I’m not feeling very inspired today
But rather, a sense of blurred vision and mistaken intent
Anticipation and anxiety are the indomitable precursors to satisfaction
Or rather disappointment
Don’t let me be the one to tell you what to feel
Oh no…not me
Look inside and find
Take what drives you
Embrace what motivates you
Take that deep pressure in your skull that pushes you to succeed
The burning passion that compels you to choose life
Run your fingers down its spine
Caress it as you would a lover
Embrace it for all its strength and all its weakness
For without it, we are nothing
Merely a shell of an already hollow breed
“If You Wanted to Know”
Pull yourself free from this
Without a doubt, you’ll understand
In time, all things will be made clear
And you’ll grasp why this had to be
Sacrificing wants for needs
Throwing comfort to the wind
Disregarding so much we held dear
Clarity will arrive unexpectedly and without announcement
This pain will all make sense one day
“Always”
Remember the way my hand felt on your skin?
Your entire body tingling at the very thought of pressing against mine?
As I slowly worked my way down, under the covers
Your breathing would quicken and grow heavy until……gasp
I pulled pleasure after pleasure out of you
Each murmur and whispered word bringing both of us closer
In your climax, I found satisfaction
“Will You Believe?”
Look straight up
Imprints of beauty in both our worlds
Floating just out of reach
Dancing like youth, life in its purest form
Those fingerprints just beckon and tease
As if to say, join us in the heavens and forever live in love
Sadly, our choice is etched in eternity
Their tears fall in sympathy and sadness for our loss
Yet from their compassion rises life and new hope for tomorrow
Monday, September 17, 2007
I Think I Got It
Monday Monday Mondaaaaay
Such a ridiculous day if you think about it. Rather than the beginning of a new week, I see it more as signifying the end of my past week. And the accompanying freedom that is the weekend. I must say, I had a pretty splendid weekend. Drove to Chicago Friday after work. And when I say Chicago, I mean Chicago. I took my little Iowa plated Cobalt right through downtown, across Michigan Avenue, up Lake Shore Drive and straight through the heart of IlliNOISE. I must say, Sufjan Stevens' said album provided the PERFECT soundtrack for the drive in. Some good people, good eating and good atmosphere all equaled one good time. Say hello to Douglas. Kate's abnormally disproportioned cat. He certainly helped make the trip.
Although this was way back on last Thursday night, I have to take a moment to say how much I loved the movie Cashback. Another non-disappointing recommendation from Mr. Dan Holcomb. If I had to summarize my thoughts and feelings concerning this movie into two sentences, here is what I would say. It reminded me of what movies should feel like to watch. It made me wish once again that I
a.) was an artist and b.) had a British accent.
Regardless, please do yourself a favor and watch it. Seems relatively hard to find in movie stores but do what you can.
Here comes Monday...
Such a ridiculous day if you think about it. Rather than the beginning of a new week, I see it more as signifying the end of my past week. And the accompanying freedom that is the weekend. I must say, I had a pretty splendid weekend. Drove to Chicago Friday after work. And when I say Chicago, I mean Chicago. I took my little Iowa plated Cobalt right through downtown, across Michigan Avenue, up Lake Shore Drive and straight through the heart of IlliNOISE. I must say, Sufjan Stevens' said album provided the PERFECT soundtrack for the drive in. Some good people, good eating and good atmosphere all equaled one good time. Say hello to Douglas. Kate's abnormally disproportioned cat. He certainly helped make the trip.
Although this was way back on last Thursday night, I have to take a moment to say how much I loved the movie Cashback. Another non-disappointing recommendation from Mr. Dan Holcomb. If I had to summarize my thoughts and feelings concerning this movie into two sentences, here is what I would say. It reminded me of what movies should feel like to watch. It made me wish once again that I
a.) was an artist and b.) had a British accent.
Regardless, please do yourself a favor and watch it. Seems relatively hard to find in movie stores but do what you can.
Here comes Monday...
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
I Promise
Last night, I had to ignore over 80 phone calls from someone I care strongly about. I didn't answer or respond to these calls, voicemails and texts because simply put, it was the right thing to do. I think many times we find ourselves in a situation where we have to take the hard and narrow path and sacrifice in the now so that others may benefit in the future. I can't let her care about me anymore. There must exist a rift between us so that she can put aside the emotions that kept her calling and those that enabled her to allow herself to be so vulnerable.
She claimed that I had lied to her and betrayed her trust. I can not be more emphatic in stating that I did not. If there was something that unspoken law dictates for me to tell her, I would have done so. Unfortunately for her case against me, there wasn't. Its almost humorous to me that she thought I didn't know she read my blog. If anything, she was/is probably my most devoted reader. Keep in mind, 1 of 3. The point of this blog is not for me to hide how I feel or disguise my opinion on matters; it is an open forum for my life, my love and my thoughts. For example, my post entitled Whoopsies... from almost a month ago now. In it, I chronicled my thoughts concerning a separate ill fated relationship. Did I mean what I wrote? Most certainly. Did I yield to a personal weakness of mine and fall into the ever open pit of melodrama? Yep. So for that, I apologize. But do not think for one second that I would compromise my spirit to write and to create in order to protect the best interests of anyone other than myself. Selfish as it may sound, I can only be responsible for myself and the choices I make and therefore will not take it upon myself to pretend to know or especially predict the thoughts or reactions of others to my writing.
I rambled. I apologize.
Coming back to the main character of this little narrative. The hardest thing to sacrifice for me is quite literally my reputation with her. In a limited number of ways, I do care entirely too much what certain people think of me. Last night though, a realization finally sunk in. This vanity of mine is what has been inhibiting certain areas of personal growth. So by finally realizing and acknowledging this weakness of mine, I was able to see the proper course of action to take in this situation. For once, I'm not arguing and I'm most definitely not trying to change her mind. I'm letting her go. I'm letting her be free to think and feel whatever she'd like to without any input or opposition from me. My opinion and feelings are no longer of any importance in this situation and as difficult as that is for me to accept, I will.
In closing, I will not censor my thoughts for anyone but myself. For the same reason that this is a public blog, my written and spoken thoughts are also public and open to comment, critique and discussion. All I ask is that a somewhat logical and rational approach is taken when doing so. Ask and I will tell.
This is me sharing. My life, my love.
She claimed that I had lied to her and betrayed her trust. I can not be more emphatic in stating that I did not. If there was something that unspoken law dictates for me to tell her, I would have done so. Unfortunately for her case against me, there wasn't. Its almost humorous to me that she thought I didn't know she read my blog. If anything, she was/is probably my most devoted reader. Keep in mind, 1 of 3. The point of this blog is not for me to hide how I feel or disguise my opinion on matters; it is an open forum for my life, my love and my thoughts. For example, my post entitled Whoopsies... from almost a month ago now. In it, I chronicled my thoughts concerning a separate ill fated relationship. Did I mean what I wrote? Most certainly. Did I yield to a personal weakness of mine and fall into the ever open pit of melodrama? Yep. So for that, I apologize. But do not think for one second that I would compromise my spirit to write and to create in order to protect the best interests of anyone other than myself. Selfish as it may sound, I can only be responsible for myself and the choices I make and therefore will not take it upon myself to pretend to know or especially predict the thoughts or reactions of others to my writing.
I rambled. I apologize.
Coming back to the main character of this little narrative. The hardest thing to sacrifice for me is quite literally my reputation with her. In a limited number of ways, I do care entirely too much what certain people think of me. Last night though, a realization finally sunk in. This vanity of mine is what has been inhibiting certain areas of personal growth. So by finally realizing and acknowledging this weakness of mine, I was able to see the proper course of action to take in this situation. For once, I'm not arguing and I'm most definitely not trying to change her mind. I'm letting her go. I'm letting her be free to think and feel whatever she'd like to without any input or opposition from me. My opinion and feelings are no longer of any importance in this situation and as difficult as that is for me to accept, I will.
In closing, I will not censor my thoughts for anyone but myself. For the same reason that this is a public blog, my written and spoken thoughts are also public and open to comment, critique and discussion. All I ask is that a somewhat logical and rational approach is taken when doing so. Ask and I will tell.
This is me sharing. My life, my love.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Chocolate + Burritos with Guac + Salmon
[08:36] vaGina: try to stay awake...if u start nodding off picture me SLAPPING u in the face
[08:36] VaGina: and spitting on ur head
[08:37] VaGina: all while dancing next to a piano
i can't wait for Friday
"i desperately want to make love to a school boy"
[08:36] VaGina: and spitting on ur head
[08:37] VaGina: all while dancing next to a piano
i can't wait for Friday
"i desperately want to make love to a school boy"
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
"Wake Up Sun"
Look straight up
Imprints of beauty in both our worlds
Floating just out of reach
Dancing like youth, life in its purest form
Those fingerprints just beckon and tease
As if to say, join us in the heavens and forever live in love
Sadly, our choice is etched in eternity
Their tears fall in sympathy and sadness for our loss
Yet from their compassion rises life and new hope for tomorrow
-js-
Imprints of beauty in both our worlds
Floating just out of reach
Dancing like youth, life in its purest form
Those fingerprints just beckon and tease
As if to say, join us in the heavens and forever live in love
Sadly, our choice is etched in eternity
Their tears fall in sympathy and sadness for our loss
Yet from their compassion rises life and new hope for tomorrow
-js-
Monday, September 10, 2007
A Life of Happiness or a Life of Meaning?
I've had a wonderful weekend of rest and relaxation.
Included in said R&R has been watching an average of 3.5625 hours a night of Heroes: Season 1 for the last 4 nights. OMG!!!
It goes without saying, this show is awesome. And addictive on top of that.
Yesterday was quite possibly, a day among days for me. I woke up at 11AM or so and went to sleep a little after 1AM. During this time, I never once wore anything other than a pair of boxers. I never once left my condo for anything. I never once put in my contacts in exchange for my glasses. I also watched ten (10) episodes of Heroes, ate three (3) 5 oz. steaks, three (3) chicken breasts, one (1) large taco salad and one (1) large serving of chicken rice pilaf by Rice-A-Roni.
It was wonderful.
Ted and Craig did come over for the last couple hours of my night and gave me at least a small amount of much needed social interaction and laughing.
Included in this laughing was below video.
Add to that a super fun visit on Friday from an old friend and a new friend alike, several wonderful phone conversations and a whole host of promise for the future; as I've said in the past and still hold to be true, every day is the happiest day of my life.
Included in said R&R has been watching an average of 3.5625 hours a night of Heroes: Season 1 for the last 4 nights. OMG!!!
It goes without saying, this show is awesome. And addictive on top of that.
Yesterday was quite possibly, a day among days for me. I woke up at 11AM or so and went to sleep a little after 1AM. During this time, I never once wore anything other than a pair of boxers. I never once left my condo for anything. I never once put in my contacts in exchange for my glasses. I also watched ten (10) episodes of Heroes, ate three (3) 5 oz. steaks, three (3) chicken breasts, one (1) large taco salad and one (1) large serving of chicken rice pilaf by Rice-A-Roni.
It was wonderful.
Ted and Craig did come over for the last couple hours of my night and gave me at least a small amount of much needed social interaction and laughing.
Included in this laughing was below video.
Add to that a super fun visit on Friday from an old friend and a new friend alike, several wonderful phone conversations and a whole host of promise for the future; as I've said in the past and still hold to be true, every day is the happiest day of my life.
Friday, September 7, 2007
sssssssssssssssssssss
Why do I feel this way?
I can barely keep my eyes open.
I spent last night watching Heroes and I loved every second of it.
I wish I could spend my days figuring out what my super powers are.
Instead, I sit constantly....sunrise to sundown.
I just realize that sounded like a bad thing.
Not at all. Just a genuine observation.
Where to now Captain?
I wish you could talk to me. Right now.
You've been a surprise to me and sure, surprises tend to stop being interesting once the initial awe has worn off. But you know what? I don't care.
Life is the present, not the future.
I can barely keep my eyes open.
I spent last night watching Heroes and I loved every second of it.
I wish I could spend my days figuring out what my super powers are.
Instead, I sit constantly....sunrise to sundown.
I just realize that sounded like a bad thing.
Not at all. Just a genuine observation.
Where to now Captain?
I wish you could talk to me. Right now.
You've been a surprise to me and sure, surprises tend to stop being interesting once the initial awe has worn off. But you know what? I don't care.
Life is the present, not the future.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
PUPPIES!!!
So long story short, Mike is looking to buy a puppy for the household. It would be "his" dog of course but it would really belong to all of us as we would all take care of it. So many breeds to choose from...well, here are my top candidates so far. Feedback?
Reggie is on the top. He's the only orphan puppy I've found so far at a shelter. He is a boxer however and boxers are at the top of mine and Mike's list right now. The pup on the bottom is from a litter on a farm in Iowa that sounds promising.
Australian Shepherd
Reggie is on the top. He's the only orphan puppy I've found so far at a shelter. He is a boxer however and boxers are at the top of mine and Mike's list right now. The pup on the bottom is from a litter on a farm in Iowa that sounds promising.
Australian Shepherd
Puggle
German Shepherd
Hungarian Vizsla
Hungarian Vizsla
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
Feedback? Advice? Personal experiences with one of these breeds?
Feel free to let me know.
Feel free to let me know.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Move With Me
Whew...
That was a long weekend.
Good + Bad + everything in between = a weekend in Dubuque.
I can definitely say without a moment's hesitation however that the Quad Cities are now my home. Scary thought on some levels but all in all? I think I'm more than okay with it.
I did see Superbad yesterday though. Pretty funny movie. Favorite line?
"So, you guys have Myspace?"
Pretty much every other line was awesome too but honestly, the Myspace one was perfect.
And a grand highlight of last night? Bone Palace Ballet.
Finally been able to give it a full listen this morning on the drive to work and right now as we speak. And its quite phenomenal.
"It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own.
Yet we hesitate to surrender all of our insecurities
Only the ones we are most comfortable relinquishing"
Isn't that the truth? It's like Craig wrote this about you.
And now I head to a meeting. See if I remember anything from last week.
That was a long weekend.
Good + Bad + everything in between = a weekend in Dubuque.
I can definitely say without a moment's hesitation however that the Quad Cities are now my home. Scary thought on some levels but all in all? I think I'm more than okay with it.
I did see Superbad yesterday though. Pretty funny movie. Favorite line?
"So, you guys have Myspace?"
Pretty much every other line was awesome too but honestly, the Myspace one was perfect.
And a grand highlight of last night? Bone Palace Ballet.
Finally been able to give it a full listen this morning on the drive to work and right now as we speak. And its quite phenomenal.
"It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own.
Yet we hesitate to surrender all of our insecurities
Only the ones we are most comfortable relinquishing"
Isn't that the truth? It's like Craig wrote this about you.
And now I head to a meeting. See if I remember anything from last week.
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