Speaking of Eros...

AHHHHHHHHHHH

Hello audience. Or whatever I have that might constitute as one. I recently made the internet acquaintance of one, Jeremiah from the Minnesota based band Red Fox Grey Fox. Anyone that's been paying attention to my screaming either online or IRL in the past couple months might know the juicy fact that I'm in love with RFGF. So imagine my surprise.delight to read an open invitation from Jeremiah to read his blog and to share in thought with him. All in all, he seems like a pretty stand up guy. Besides understood and loved, he makes me feel a.) old and b.) creatively stagnant. I guess I did have my my initial creative burst with this blog last August when I started it but as chronicled in some of my last few posts, I've somewhat leveled out in recent times. But guess what? I'm not going to categorize creativity any longer. Expression is all that matters and I have something to express.

Taking inspiration from Jeremiah's foray into the blogging world with his post about love; I recently had somewhat of an epiphany. Well, I guess "epiphany" may be fluffing it a LITTLE bit but semantics aside, I was moved. But first, let me indulge and perform God's greatest gift to the story telling world (at least according to Josh). Let me preface.

I was quite the little romantic as a young(er) man. Along with that, it goes without saying that I was much more idealistic in the past than I could honestly say I am now. A life defining relationship a few years back changed much of that. But to be fair, I think this happens to most everyone at some point or time. But I've always been a few years ahead of everyone so apparently this head start extended to relationships as well. It just gave me a much more adult and realistic approach on romantic love and relationships with our better halves. Fast forward through close to a year of being single and not really being interested in a serious relationship. I meet a wonderful young woman and dated this wonderful young woman for about 7 wonderful months. Not every day was wonderful but we didn't have anything seriously wrong with us. To make a long story short, I broke up with her because simply put, my heart wasn't in it anymore and I couldn't commit myself to her 100% at that point in my life and it wasn't fair to her. A primary reason my heart wasn't in it was because I had developed the idea on some level that things weren't running smooth enough and well frankly, life's a little too short to waste time on something that isn't for a lack of better words, easy. I had become jaded on some level.

So fast forward now. We still talked after we broke up. Still fought at times, went through periods where we didn't at all. And then about 3-4 months after the break up, we really started to spend quality time with each other. This lasted for a couple months and ended the other day. It ended because we decided to give it another shot and make it official and all that jazz. I had been tossing the idea around for a while but I still held a fair amount of doubt about the worth of it all and effort involved. So really? All this rambling about Ashley, not important at all in the grand scheme of this post. Relationship material generally stays in my head and I only write of it to preface this epiphany of mine. The other day, I was on phone with her while driving. I'm listening to This Providence and as I get off the phone with her, flashes of contemplation cross my mind as to the whole situation and what I wanted to do about it all. Almost as if in response to my thoughts, this repeated chorus line from "The Road to Jericho is Lined with Starving People" floods my ears.
"If lovin' were easy, it wouldn't be love"
Cheesy as hell? Most definitely. Thought provoking? The same.
I guess it all just sort of hit me right there. Phillia, Eros, Storge or Agape. All of these are intertwined to form the basis of what I feel is the meaning of life. To love and to be loved. To respect and to be respected. Taking from the comment "Korissa" left on Jeremiah's blog, there are not many greater feelings than that of mutual love.

So if you read this far, thanks. And I promise that's the last of it in the relationship rambling department at least for a good long while. It's just something on my mind recently and there's no better day than Monday to let it all bubble out.